my mental state

the thing about travelling is, it’s almost always unexpectable and there will be a few surprises along the way… something unpredictable, something surprising, something that makes you remember…

it’s like that time when the white guy sitting right beside me on the plane started to talk to me and explaining his belief after discovering that i am a muslim.

it’s like that time when our cabin is double-booked and we have to spend the night in a tent, with the rain pouring heavily and no lights or heater around.

it’s like experiencing the sand storm at the bottom of a pyramid.

it’s like the time we walked miles and miles to get into alhambra in spain.

it’s like tasting the famous and the best pistachio ice cream in italy after the philipino’s stranger who studied art in italy helped to take our picture and gave us the direction.

it’s like that time i get into and out of the buses in london.

it’s when we stopped just anywhere along the east coast highway for some coconut drinks and it never tastes the same.

it’s like that time when someone pick-pocket a friend’s wallet and we all felt for her and be more cautious next time around.

it’s like that time when an unknown muslim sister suddenly talk to me and willing to wait half an hour with me for the flight, gave me a few little books of prayer and advices as well as showing the pics of her son.

it’s when nothing seems impossible and together we are stronger.

it’s like feeling clean and refresh and ready to see and absorb new things.

it’s like surrendering fate in the hand of the Al-mighty, totally.

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pure black coffee…

(kopi cap raga, yan, kedah, malaysia)

new coffee gadget…

geeez… thanks!!

alert: high on caffeine

i took a walk around the world

to ease my troubled mind

i left my body laying somewhere

in the sand of times

but i watched the word float

to the dark side of the moon

i felt there is nothing i can do, yeahhh

*

i watched the world float

to the dark side of the moon

after all i knew it had to be

something to do with you

i really don’t mind what happens now and then

as long as you’ll be my friend at the end

*

if i go crazy then will you still

call me superman

if i’m alive and well, will you be

there a-holding my hand

i’ll keep you by my side

with my superhuman might

kryptonite

*

you called me strong, you called me weak

but still your secrets i will keep

you took for granted all the times

i never let you down

you stumbled in and bumped your head

if not for me then you’d be dead

i picked you up and put you back

on solid ground

*

if i go crazy then will you still

call me superman

if i’m alive and well, will you be

there a-holding my hand

i’ll keep you by my side

with my superhuman might

kryptonite

yeahhhh!!!

———-

by: 3 doors down

———-

i still gets tachycardic listening to this song after all this year… it’s been quite a while since i listen to them… but it’s absolutely a great song, especially to sing with a sore throat and jumping up and down… =P

well, this is what i had in a day…

• a sore throat - lost the early morning voice
• blisters on the right ankle posterior region
• a sprained left ankle

well, the first is pretty expected as winter is here and viruses are partying… but the last two is related to bad choice of footwear, which can obviously be avoided… don’t do that to your feet people… comfort always come first!!… especially when you are putting pressure on your feet… say for example, playing netball???

owchhh…

so helen helped me get a lift back home today. neil is driving the car. i think it’s a black golf, i don’t really notice. the song is classic brit’s rock and roll. nice and suited the mood. the guitar is awesome. just cannot help myself thinking it felt like in a drama or something…

so we chatted. well, they did most of the talkings actually. and once every now and then neil asks me some questions. surprisingly enough he knows my name though i honestly just know his when he introduce himself after the grand round. yeah, i am a bit ignorant plus he is not from my year anyway. he intercalated a few years back.

and then finally, just as we reached the yellowish brick building where i’ll be dropped off, he asked;

"so… you are actually living in the university accomodation… i thought i heard you said that but… *some mumblings - dunno what*… so, you are international student?"

"yes, i am"

"where are you from?"

"malaysia"

"wherabout in malaysia?"

"kuala lumpur"

"oh nice place… *with startled face*… so, why the hell are you here?"

opening the door and with a smile i replied… "i have no idea…"

i said thanks and get off the car, wondering along the way into the flat… did i actually look brits? did they not notice the ’sawa matang’ tanned on my skin and that i am nowhere close to looking like a brit’s pakistan etc etc etc? ahaha… funnily weird… but not at all surprising…

oh yes… i invented the name. it’s derived from cook in microwave rice. get it?? nope?? haha… that’s the best i could think of spontaneouly as opportunity to get internet access in the hospital is really not great…

anyway anyhoo… been having some responds about cooking rice in the microwave thingy and feeling generous to share the skill… it must be warned though that this skill will take between 15-20 minutes (well… suitable enough when you are alone in a hospital hostel with so much time to kill… lalala) and it is only for the maximum of two servings… no guarantee for more than that ok?

so, straight to business… what do you need?

• a microwavable tupperware or bowl
• beras
• water
• spoon

so, all prepared? right… the most challenging part is trying to budget how much water you need relative to the amount of rice you want to cook… what i usually did is use about segenggam beras and then fill the water secukup rasa, just like when cooking in the rice cooker but a bit more because i don’t want my rice to be too dry…

now, the technical bit is setting the microwave setting.

firstly, set the power to the its highest and cook the rice for 7-8 minutes. you can stop once a while and stir the rice. when that is done, set the power to defrost and cook for another 7-8 minutes. whilst you are stirring, add some water if you find the rice is getting too dry. so, this is when using the conventional microwave. there are much more advance microwave these days that actually have a mode for cooking rice… which is about the same, with a break in between 15-16 minutes.

so, useful enough? hehe… happy trying people!!

i’ve been here for quite some time when…

• i can say the polite ‘how are you?’ with the broad smile - ‘british style’ and answer the same question every morning spontaneously without sheepishly thinking whether these people actually care or are they just being polite
• the voice of a friend’s cute son actually changed - i remembered chatting with a few friends and coming to a conclussion that one way we know we are older is by seeing the yonger sisters/brothers growing up…
• the newbies this year actually called me ‘kak’, which i don’t really mind now considering they are not even in the 20s… heh… up to your preference lah…
• i am still not going to be home when my sister delivers her SECOND child… huhu
• i’ve enhanced by survival cooking skills by cooking rice in a microwave…
• and the winter is just another cold winter…

well… that’s it for now… will write more when i found out more… hehe

did i hear you right

cause i thought i heard you said

let’s think it over

you have been my life

and i never planned

growing old without you

*

shadows bleeding through the light

where the love once shined so bright

came without a reason

don’t let go on us tonight

love’s not always black and white

haven’t i always love you?

*

but when i need you

you’re almost here

and i know that’s not enough

and when i’m with you

i’m close to tears

cause you’re only almost here

*

i would change the world

if i had the chance

oh won’t you let me

treat me like a child

throw your arms around me

oh please protect me

*

bruised and battered by your words

dazed and shattered now it hurts

haven’t i always love you

*

but when i need you you’re almost here

well i never knew how far behind i’ve left you

and when i hold you you’re almost here

well i’m sorry that i took our love for granted

and now i’m with you i’m close to tears

cause i know i’m almost here

only almost here…

———-

by: delta goodrem & brian mcfadden

———-

i just think that duet songs have greater effect and i think i kinda like this song… oh my, the raya mode really spoiled me… ahaks

suddenly felt like writing but cannot think of any particular topic… will probably end up writing about rubbish in the dustbin that doesn’t make sense at all so it may not worth continuing to read if you have not much time, if you have a lot of assignments to settle or if you simply have better things to do…

oh well… what can i say… it’s raya mode!! heh… i know it has been nearly 2 weeks post raya but still not feeling like doing much work, tummy hungers for all sort of food and mind still wonders about when to wear the other baju… haha… but honestly, i miss just a simple dinner… maybe so, i miss cooking… kah kah kah… this is SO NOT happening… but yepp, i have not been cooking ‘real’ meal for some time… surviving on foods from open houses and raya gatherings as well as some quick fast foods whenever i’m away from leeds… by quick i meant things that does not involve any sort of meat, usually comprises of instant pasta, maggi and all other sort of things… heh… easy does it… unhealthy? oh well… there are lives to be saved and no time to lose… uhuk uhuk… sure… sure… and oh!! i still have half a box of cereal to be finished by the end of next week so that i don’t have to bring it back to leeds… and yepp, got more info for the next placement already and it seemed that my life will never be at ease for at least another 5 weeks… plus the final presentation next week as well as personal statement… and i also had my first dose of hinaa (i think this is how it is spelled but just in case you don’t know - it’s inai yg lukis lukis tu as in picture) on my hand last wednesday for my birthday… keh keh keh…

hmm… have i lost my train of thoughts? ish ish ish… what is happening lah… but i can merepek what i want as this is my blog kan… true? definitely with 98% confidence intervals… evidence-based mylife would recommend having this medication called blog to ease up the stuffy and runny drippings from the smallest brain cells ever and to make sure that prophylaxis dose of cheery and therapeutic entertainment from housemates and internets are given whenever possible to avoid further complications such as obstructive blank expression during ward rounds and restrictive emotional wavelength from not too depressed to very depressive… and have you read all of that in one breath?? yeayyyyyy!!!

ok… ok… i shall now let you leave this blog in peace and i hope your mind can still digest what you have to… weeheeeeeeee… high for no reason… carpe diem!!

tick tock and i’m officially 24 years old…

weird enough, it does feel a tiny bit different this time around…

suddenly there seems to be a huge gap between who i was before and who i has become…

hmm… i don’t think i’m at the age where i’d feel sad because it marks another year of ageing yet but interestingly I do find it a bit amusing to realize where i am at this point…

haha… whatever…

back in leeds for the night and heading back to b******d tomorrow morning for presentation… oh whyyy did i do this???

oppsss… better be thankful and stop complaining… after all it’s for a good cause… (",)

and for all the warm sweet wishes… THANKS!! i’m truly touched… like the pic above… hehe