okay everybody… this is going to be another long whining about how horrible the day has been for me… so if you are not up to it… just go away and don’t read this… go and find some sweet melodramatic stuff to dream about… cause this ain’t one of them… this is just me… tired…
i don’t know why i have been so unlucky with the dermatology placement… is it because of the hospital i’m attached to or is it a sign that this specialty should be avoided in the long run… not my kind of thing??… urghhhh… geram… penat... disappointed… all in one…
today’s session is supposed to be at 1.15pm in pontefract hospital under this consultant i’ll just named dr M… it is a hassle to get to that hospital by bus, so i decided to go to pindefield hospital first and then get there by the shuttle… fine… so the girl get dressed neatly in her unwrinkled shirt, headed to the bus stop at 11.30am… that is like 2 hours earlier and she thought, "what on earth can go wrong when i’m this early?"… but she was wrong…
she arrived at pinderfield hospital at 12.30pm… had to wait for a bit more than half an hour before the shuttle service runs and then another half an hour just to get to the pontefract hospital… and 
finally, she reached her destination at 1.40pm… that’s already like half an hour late but she is positive it would be fine cause everybody knows how horrible it is to get to this stupid hospital out of nowhere… and she is eager to learn despite her laziness to even go in the first place… but the worst is yet to come…
"hi, i’m 4th year medical student to sit in with dr M this afternoon," she said. "ohh… are you sure you are meant to be here?" replied the nurse at the reception. "yes, i am," she said positively while her hand reaching for the timetable and the name of the consultant, handed it over to the receptionist nurse. "well, dr M is not here… she’s in pinderfield. let me call pinderfielf to check where you should be" said the nurse.
panggggggg!!!! she just could not believe it… she travelled and wasted about an hour just to get to pontefract from pinderfield but the consultant is actually in pinderfield???… damn it!!! her timetable is definitely screwed…
click, the phone is hang up. "yes, you should be there in pindefield," said the nurse mercilessly and she continue chatting with the other nurses, not considering even for a second to ask the consultant already in pontefract whether she would mind a student sitting with her.
"arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" she screamed in her heart… hot flushes running through, struggling for words, she managed to ask where she could get the shuttle to pinderfield, allthough she already knew the answer… maybe just to feel insane again… the next shuttle is going to be at 2.30pm…
feeling bitter and helpless to just wait for another 40 minutes before the next shuttle, she did zuhr in the chapel… the only place suitable for prayers to calm herself down… the thought of going home straight away crosses her mind but it would be such a waste of money, time and effort if she didn’t complete the session today… besides it’s her last ever clinic in this placement…
she finally arrived at pinderfield at 3.15pm but to no luck, dr M already has two students sitting in, to no surprise but devastated, she was about to give up… but the nurse there was so nice and the other consultant is willing to let her sit in for the rest of the clinic… it would be safe to say that even if she only managed to see three cases of basal cell carcinoma; with the rolled up pearly edges and telangiectasia, and another case of bowen’s disease (intraepidermal small cell carcinoma in-situ)… the session has been worth it… and she was left feeling much much better… but speaking too soon perhaps, the bus broke down on the way home!!!… she has to wait nearly half and hour to get on another one by which time she could not care less what will happen next…
ok… now hopefully you can understand why i am tired… meskipun aku telah membebel to my housemate tentang malangnya nasibku hari ini tadi… just want to write it down as well to get all this unwanted vibes out of the system… how terrible can a day be?? ahaha… don’t even ask… =P
hmm… you see… i get it when a friend told me that you are just in your fourth year and you should not get into the final year mode of tiredness over studying… or perhaps otak dah tepu kind of thing… but i think i am… i am tired… i am fed up with all this hassle and being pushed around, especially like just now… it’s energy consuming to have to comute to a hospital which takes an hour on the bus though it would only takes 15 mins by car… it’s annoying to have to be in three hospitals in a week though they are all reachable… it’s not the learning bits that is making me feel tired so much… it’s to keep up with the stupid unreliable time table and the need to complete all those stupid assessment things and the need to be professional all the time… like heck you don’t have feelings and a robot to know every single things!!! it just sucks…
i know this is bad and i am saying this under the very bad vibes i’ve been through today… but i know when i wake up tomorrow i’ll feel much better… and hopefully my energy will revive and i’ll be my level-headed self again… hehe… just being a drama queen once in a blue moon… =P… but the best thing of all, i am ever so greatful to have friends all around me, who never give up on me and constantly reminding me to study… thanks a bunch!! YOU help me…
"hidup itu umpama putaran roda, kejap di atas kejap di bawah… mungkin inilah masanya aku berada di bawah… namun tidak sekali harus kusesalkan kerana masa di bawah inilah kan kunikmati puasnya rasa di atas sana…"
